I found a fun little movie over at storewars.org. The puppet animation and writing make it cute and fun. It’s a silly little movie that gets kind of spoiled at the end (it comes with a message). It’s put out by the Organic Trade Organization, which is a larger issue to me. So either go watch the movie or…

I should start by explaining my situation. Lady Diva is a vegetarian, and also likes to eat heathly. Were it not for her, I would still be following the 3C’s^*of food groups. So I have the unique perspective of someone who isn’t a zealot or hasn’t made organic food a lifestyle choice.

I understand the concept behind organic food, much like I understand the concept of jet engines. The basic idea behind organic food is to eat healthy by not ingesting man-made chemicals or genetically modified foods (there is more, but that is the basics). In theory, organic foods should be more heathly for you. But my issues with organic foods begins at the produce section at the grocery store.

In every grocery store I’ve been to, the organic produce section is off by itself, which facilitates an ease-of-use when looking for organic produce. It takes up a small percentage of the produce section, and ends up looking like a small produce section within a larger produce section. Think of it as a produce parasite trying to blend in within the larger produce community. When you begin to look over this organic produce, you’ll see two things. First, you’ll notice that some has begun to grow hair, a pre-evolution tribble so to speak. If your really lucky, you’ll find some that looks as if it’s ready to break from the organic parasite food chain, and become a new version of fruit or veggie based “hair club for men” albeit a short a spiky hair piece, but if it’s a grapefruit, it’s going to give you a nice 80’s Billy Idol type look. When you begin to pick through this mess of fuzz you’ll start picking out items that don’t have the wookie look, and that is when you’ll see the second issue. You pick up an apple, and start turning it over, noticing that it has more bruising than Dave Mustaine’s ego. And between you and me, I don’t want to eat that.

Leaving the produce section behind, we turn to “other” organic food stuffs. The organic foods isle or store section. Where food only goes in shame. I’ve had many, many things from this isle. I’ve had a few good things, but in most cases, it’s been a very unpleasant experience. It’s something I don’t quite understand, I make a purchase of say “whole wheat organic crackers”. Now I have in my mind an idea of what crackers should taste like, I’m willing to make some allowances for flavor, since they will be lacking in those chemical flavors I’ve come to know and love. I get home, and try these “whole wheat organic crackers”, and it’s an abomination. Food does not taste like dirt flavored cardboard with spices. That is not food, it’s passed beyond food and come out the other side.

Now I know that at this point someone who is a zealot is going to tell me that I should be shopping at a “heath food store” or an “organic market”. Before you do, I’ll let you know I’ve been there, and it’s not an experience I’m eager to repeat. If you can make it through the haze of patchouli (you don’t need to bathe in it) and incense (*cough* one stick or cone is enough *cough*), you’ll have to deal with the unwashed hippies. And then there are the customers, a rag-tag assortment of more hippies, societal throw-backs, and other fringe groups. They are usually pretty quiet (they figure if your in there shopping, you already know the cause of the moment), and keep to themselves mumbling and stumbling through the narrow isles laden with good-for-you goodness. The same issues as a larger grocer lay in wait at the “heath food store”. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve picked up and item and it’s months past the sell-by date. “Hey, Butterfly and Rainbow. Put down the hookah, and check your stock.” I’m not going to put my life at a larger risk by shopping there.

I’m all for organic food. I have fun cooking, and have made some wonderful meals with organic foods. But the organic food industry really needs to step up and get on the ball. To much organic food is organic crap.

^*Coffee, Chocolate, Cigarettes

Posted by F1_error on Monday, May 23rd, 2005 at 6:55 am.